New Year's Resolutions. The Year in Review.

Monday, December 29, 2014

I don't make them, resolutions.  Ordinarily.  Or very rarely.  Do you guys?

Not sure why I've never made them.  Maybe the added pressure or stress makes me squirmy.  Feeling beholden to a decision that I may or may not keep, then feeling like I've let myself down by not keeping to it.

This year though, with my plan of getting the house more in order and with my list of projects, purging the house of stuff we don't use is ringing in my head.  So is mustering up the bravery to tackle larger projects.  So it seems I'm leaning towards resolutions, albeit all house related.

At heart I'm a minimalist, I like minimal design but I'm also a normal person with a normal life, and uh, ahem, some packrat tendencies.  Those packrat tendencies.  Always itched when I did props for theater.  Props abets collecting.  As soon as I tossed something I always ended up needing it shortly thereafter.  Such the hair-pulling dilemma, right?!

Still to this day I have a bin in the basement with old PDA's (remember those?!), cell phones, strike anywhere matches, prescription bottles and other random small things that were hard to come by as a prop person on a tight budget.  Still to this day, I have a hard time throwing it out.

I've mentioned before I'm not much of a collector person save one exception, my Happy Meal toys.  Such the non-grown up, I know.  Some of them are darn cool though!!

Around the house, in terms of decorating, we don't have much in the way of arranged things, collections of objects, magazine-worthy vignettes and such.  The library has been my most vignette-y, decorated room to date and making it so makes me feel a tad unlike myself.

Yeah, I know, not being a gung-ho vignette-y type goes against what most decorators and designers tell people to do but, and as I will encourage you to do, I'm trying to be true to myself.

Sure, most areas maybe look quirkily bare, incomplete or like rules have been over-broken but for me, filling it up with things needles my anti-visual clutter ways and is not the answer.  Edited and curated, if you'll pardon that overused snobby sounding word, is more my speed for my own home.  And too, too much stuff weighs on me, loads me down.  But that's just me and everyone is different.  Personally I don't want a house full of things; it doesn't make me happy.

What makes me happy?  Mike.  And Finn.  Family.  Friends.  Having a warm(er) home and being busy with my never-ending projects list.   Good, clear, well-edited design makes me happy.  I'm a simple girl, heh.

(Fyi, speaking of warm, an update:  our latest gas bill literally just arrived and compared to December a year ago, we dropped approximately 80 therms of usage.  Insulate your house!  Use those foam outlet thingies!  Check your thermostat! [The therm math did calculate to a 23% savings overall!])

So this year, I'll line up short term goals rather than resolutions.  Things I know I can and will accomplish.  Like the master vanity,  That's a definite, an early, very early, top o' January completion goal.

Ahead of that though, feelin' a strong desire to purge excess stuff.  And actually, I already started.  All proud of myself, doin' a little jig in my chair here.  Got one corner of the basement tidied up, weeded my sock drawer, ditched a handful of near empty containers of lotions and gunk.  It's a start.  Admittedly slow, but a start nonetheless.

Or maybe it comes down to a resolution of determination.  Whip that into a frenzy to get cranking on my list.  Maybe that's what it is.  But in a short term way so as to not pressure myself.

Hmm.  Ok, so a super secret silent resolution of determination I guess.  Go forth and DIY with gumption little miss, go forth and DIY.

Heh.  :)

It's been a very rough year though, as I sit here and carefully review it in my beanie head.  I'd venture to say that yeah, it's been the worst of my life.  I lost my furry best friend of twelve years, my little soul puppy, something I never in a million years thought would happen just quite yet.  Hailey was supposed to live forever.  Siiiiigh.  So many people I know also suffered their own terrible losses too, struggled, or didn't have such an easy go.  It wasn't just me and it was hard on my heart.

But Hailey was the majority of my year.  Out of nowhere sick with bone cancer, us making the gut-wrenching choice to amputate her leg (sorry if I made you squeamish there), the chemo, her I thought  on the road to recovery, and then blindsided-ly losing her.

Sigh.

There were good things mixed in there though, throughout the year.  Mike, of course.  Care and kind words from family and friends.  Hugs.  I started this spiffy blog and have virtually met many super cool folks.  I'm blushingly thankful for all you guys who read along -- you warm my heart.  Sirens filmed a season two (don't forget, January 27 is the premiere!  Be sure to watch!  Baby needs a season three!).  Finn came into our lives.  Friends had good news.  The year wasn't all bad.  It just had a weighty blanket of sorrow thrown over it.

So.

Yeah.

Bittersweet.  Bitter and sweet.  Looking forward to 2014 no longer being in existence but anxious that I'll be losing the last year Hailey was alive.  Sounds weird, I know.  But I am weird, what can I say?

I can say I am looking forward to getting more house projects done, flipping this flip even more, seeing what I can accomplish, erasing more evidence and repellent taste of a terrible flipper then sharing it all with you.

The up's, the down's, the fun, the aggravation, the cuts, the scrapes, the tears, the bruises, the elation, the triumphs, the cool and the absurd.  The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat.  But ahhh, there will be no defeat!

I do hope you'll continue along with me through 2015.  It should be entertaining to see what this new year brings.

So, thanks everybody.  Wishing you all the best and a stellar year ahead!

No pictures, huh?  Hm.  That used to mean I'd post a cutie photo of Hailey.  No sense in giving that up.

I miss you, sweet pea.
Off to the park with big Finn boy as he's pacing and whining, Mommy!!  Let's Gooooo!!!, so I'll see you guys in 2015!  Have a great holiday!

xo

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